


No other sadness in the world would do

by seventeenwonders



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26555008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seventeenwonders/pseuds/seventeenwonders
Summary: She doesn’t have an extensive enough vocabulary to articulate how grateful she was for Ty Lee; for Ty Lee’s presence, Ty Lee’s love, Ty Lee’s forgiveness. Azula was under the impression that even if she read all the books in the world and memorized every single page in the dictionary, the words to express how deeply she felt for Ty Lee still wouldn’t come to her.ORAzula opens up about the war.
Relationships: Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	No other sadness in the world would do

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elliezwilliams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliezwilliams/gifts).



> SO this is really short because a certain someone told me YESTERDAY her birthday was today. Also, this is the first fic I've ever drafted in the ATLA/TLOK universe and it's really Azula centered (I would've written a proper Tyzula fic if this certain someone told me about her birthday earlier!!!), but I hope you'll like, Mari. Happy birthday and thanks SO much for everything!!

"I’m thinking..." she whispered. "I am thinking, fourteen was too young to fight in legendary wars." her voice breaks, and Ty Lee can see tears rolling down her cheeks. She has never seen Azula like this before, talking about her feelings in such a fragile way without her wits and sarcastic tone punctuating every sentence. 

Ty Lee doesn’t move to embrace her or to wipe her tears, nor does she speak a thing and only stares at her girlfriend. They are twenty years old now and this is the first time in six years that Azula opens up about the war. The evening had begun as it always does: with the Fire Princess tearing her clothes off and kissing every one of her scars, but something changed. The athlete looked up, at her lover’s face, and saw her eyes filling with water. Azula got up and sat down at the end of their bed, her back turned to the other woman. Slowly approaching her, Ty Lee muttered a faint _“What are you thinking?”_. 

"I know this is not an excuse. " Azula continues. "I know that were people even younger than me who knew that what I was doing was... wrong. But," her voice gets caught up in her throat again, and the firebender has to swallow her tears once more. "I don’t think I would’ve done anything differently. I... wanted to please father. I wanted to be the chosen one. I wanted Zuko gone. I wanted... the world in flames and ashes and I wanted to be the one who led it to this state."

She takes a deep breath and presses her eyes closed shut like she could prevent all the water in her body from escaping if she’s strong enough (turns out she can’t, and the tears just keep rolling and rolling, trying to extinguish this burning feeling of madness, rage, and guilt inside of her). "But you know what? All of this... I think... I just... wanted to prove to _her_ that I was worthy. I know I am not sweet and I know I don’t have a good heart and I know everybody gave up on me and they were right; I am a monster, I am crazy and maybe I did need to go down... But..." She starts sobbing and she can’t take it anymore. The water didn’t stop the fire of rage from creeping in at her entire body and she’s shaking. 

Ty Lee finally moves and takes Azula on her arms. She starts treading her fingers on the other’s hair and murmuring loving words. _“You are not a monster.” “I love you so, so, so much.” “You’re the most incredible, beautiful, powerful, and strong person I have ever met.” “I will never let you go, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry that I did before, but never more.”_

After a moment, the firebender untangles herself from the girl’s arms and looks deeply into her eyes. She opens her mouth and she looks and feels exhausted, however, she has to say it. If she doesn’t say it, she’s afraid it’ll never come out and this will just kill her from inside out. 

"I... just wanted her to love me. I just... I thought... Maybe, if I was like father... She would love me. She would love me as much as she loves Zuko, as much as she fears me." She takes a deep breath. "And I’m sorry that I hurt you, that I made you fear me. I am sorry that Mai still can’t look at me in the eyes and father looks at me the way he looks at Zuko and I am sorry I’ve failed. I am sorry that I did all those things, that I took Ba Sing Se and that I killed the Avatar; but also... I am sorry that I didn't succeed. That I wasn’t ready to be Fire Lord. I am sorry for so many things, I am sorry for the horrible and I am sorry of the good things that happened, I am sorry that my power was used for bad but I am also sorry that it was taken away. I am sorry for everything in my life, there’s not a single part of it that I’m proud or happy with."  
  
She paused. 

“Except for you.” Azula looks at Ty Lee's face, and the Kyoshi Warrior sees it all; she can see every single bit of Azula’s soul in those golden irises. “You’re the only thing in my life that I do not regret. I don't know how I ended up here, I don't know what I did right to deserve your forgiveness, I don’t know _why_ you’re still here, but...” The Fire Princess, who always had a way with words, lets her sentence die, unfinished. 

She doesn’t have an extensive enough vocabulary to articulate how grateful she was for Ty Lee; for Ty Lee’s presence, Ty Lee’s love, Ty Lee’s forgiveness. Azula was under the impression that even if she read all the books in the world and memorized every single page in the dictionary, the words to express how deeply she felt for Ty Lee still wouldn’t come to her. 

But even with her lack of verbal aptitude, Ty Lee still understood her. Taking the firebender’s hands on hers, Ty Lee kissed her fingers. 

“There is no reason for my love for you, there’s no why. I love you because I love you, Azula. I simply don’t want no other shade of blue but you.” She makes sure Azula is listening before saying the next part. “People love other people unconditionally, without any ulterior motive. I love _you_ unconditionally, don’t ever forget that.” 

This time, Azula is the one who hugs Ty Lee. There are no more words to be said (at least not for now) because Ty Lee _knew_ (even without her saying) and _understood_ (even without the verbal confirmation) that Azula felt the same way about her. 

They stayed like that until the Sun rose, and then, they slept tangled together, dreaming that maybe, just this once... love would be enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was, indeed, heavily inspired by hoax - Taylor Swift. Anyways, stream folklore.


End file.
